After a long time... I'm back. Hay nako, kahit tapos na ang classes, marami pa ring ginagawa. Ganon na siguro talaga ang magiging buhay ko.

Gusto kong i-untog ang ulo ko sa pader, or at least parusahan ang sarili ko. Nakakainis dahil di ako satisfied sa QPI ko. Nanghihinayang. Loser talaga ako, andaming regrets. Parang kulang pa pala ang efforts ko, na I could have done better. Tapos nakita ko pa ung post ni Citas sa acilpeeps, ung tunkol kay Bruce Lee. If you put limits to yourself daw, you should might as well die. Haaay, I should might as well die.

On the brighter side, I now have sunburned shoulders. Tapos first time kong mag-two piece na swimsuit nung Saturday. Ang kapal talaga ng mukha ko, family kasi ang kasama e. Papatayin ko ang manlait. Tapos nag-badminton ako yesterday; it was fun! I finally felt a little healthier and stronger than usual. Which just proves that too much studying is dangerous to your health, much like cigarette smoking.

I have a lot of things I want to do after I graduate, one of them I already did last Saturday (i.e. wear a two-piece bathing suit). I want to go to the gym, and finally shed off the unwanted fat in my thighs. I want to get my hair dyed black. I want to go to a motel... just to see what it's like. I want to go to boracay, or any beach, as long as I'm not with my immediate family. I want to drive a car with manual transmission (and gain back some of my pride). Hmmm... I'm sure marami pa, di ko lang maalala ngayon. Hehe.

Di ko alam kung gusto ko pang mag-retreat. Feel ko kasing mag-gym or mag-badminton na lang during those times na dapat nasa Baguio ako. On the other hand, I will need this time to really think about where my life is heading, and where God wants me to go. I've had enough of groping around and trying to control my direction in life. After Philo of Religion (kahit na C lang ang grade ko), I learned that there is a God, ang Ubod-Tigib-Apaw na Ikaw. Haha. And He probably knows what's best for me. I'm not sure what that is, kaya gusto kong malaman during the 5-day retreat. Aasa na lang ako na mae-encounter ko Siya doon. Calling, Elaine... ;)

Pano kaya kung mamatay na ko soon? Shet, parang di ko pa kayang mawala, dahil andami ko pang gustong gawin. Pero part of me wants to leave, na wala na naman talaga akong gagawin na dito. Well, except for the part where I want to die deflowered, wala na naman talaga akong must-do sa buhay ko. Siguro dahil di ko pa talaga alam kung anong gagawin ko sa buhay ko.

I see all these cute guys around and I wonder, "Will I ever get one of my own someday?" Ung cute lang na di ko naman bf, ung ka-landian lang. Hay nako, wala nang kwenta ang pinagsusulat ko dito. Ibig sabihin, tama na 'to at pagamitin ko naman ng internet ang mga undergrads ng Ateneo. Harhar!

Ego, alam ko naman na ikaw lang ang nagbabasa talaga nito, kaya gusto kong sabihin na good luck na lang sa'yo and salamat sa lahat. Wala lang, just in case I finally decide to die.

Sige, eto na lang muna dahil masakit na ang kamay ko dahil ang tigas ng keyboard na gamit ko ngayon.

Ay Ego, kailangan pa pala nating mag F.R.I.E.N.D.S. marathon bago ako mamatay. So I guess I'll have to die later than March 20. Haha.