Love, and All That Jazz
"Only when we graduate from need can we begin to love."
This was what my favorite priest (in Mandaluyong) said during his homily in last Sunday's mass. The theme was about the Holy Trinity, how each Person relates to the others; which is why the homily focused on relationships (love relationships in particular). What he said was nothing which I haven't heard from my Theology and Philosophy classes in Ateneo. Basically, the priest said that love is when you say, "I don't need you, but in spite of that, I want to have you in my life."
Okay. So I started to look at my life, particularly how I handle this sort of thing. I did a lot of talking to myself, and it turns out I really don't know how to love. I'm too needy to be in love. And I can't help but ask: what hope is there for the needy (read: clingy and possessive, or those pretending not to be) people in the world? Should they content themselves with "doleout affection" or try not to show or tell people that they need it? How can they proudly and confidently say that they love? Should they go around saying they don't need anyone? How exactly can they graduate from need? *someone enlighten me on this*
My parents must have the answer because they're celebrating their 24th wedding anniversary today. With everything that has happened between them for the past 24 years, they've managed to stay together and make the relationship work. I want to ask them what their secret is, but I don't feel comfortable asking it yet. How hard is it to love, particularly someone like my mom or dad? Was there a point in your marriage that you wanted out? Was it only the kids that made you stay? What adjustments did you have to make in order to make it work? What should I do to do the same, or do better than you guys did?
This can be good for another blog entry.
3 Comments:
I guess what 'graduating from need' doesn't necessarily mean forcing yourself not to have any need at all. We have to face the fact that as a human being, needs would always be there, whether we like it or not. I guess what graduating from need means is that in a relationship, are you willing to forget your needs (remember, your needs will be there whether you like them or not) for the sake of the one you love? Sacrifice, this is what the saying tells me. "I don't need you, but i love' really means I need you, I need you to satisfy my needs, perhaps the need to be loved, but i am willing to "un-need" that because I love you. I don't require you to satisfy my needs, although it is what i like. But I'd like to satisfy your needs, to give my all for you, to stop even my own world to se you though - I guess this is what it really means. Hope it helps.
I_am_J
(Di ako makapasok sa blog account ko. kainis. Ingat lagi bujulie. mis u)
pasensya na kung may malimali sa grammar. di ko napansin sa pagmamadali ko. hehe.
I_am_J
can we really graduate from need? No. Need will always be there. it's like temptation. But need itself is not wrong. How we respond to that need may be wrong (or right - it depends). How can we say that we truly love? I don't know. the answer to this question would be your ideal definition of what love is. It's good to have ideals. Just don't fall in love with them, because if you do, you will forget that you love not for the ideal but basically for the person you love. the ideal is just a guide, i guess.
ewan ko ba. haha
Post a Comment
<< Home